It’s ninety degrees outside, the grass is like rusty steel wool, you can’t play golf with me because you passed out the last two times you played, yes, I planned to be at the computer or television all weekend.

Since you didn’t ask, can I go too?

(She said yes.) 

If you’re going to just sit in front of the computer all weekend, I’m going to Austin to Sandra’s.

I just want to use a towel to mop my massive brow after mowing the yard. Don’t they both get washed after they are used? Using the same detergent in the same washing machine?  I don’t have ecoli growing on my head!

What’s the difference if you put it in cold water which then warms up and letting the meat sit on the counter at room temperature – or outside – to thaw.  It’s just cold meat getting warm!

Received a call this afternoon from daughter #1 asking if she should thaw some chicken outside (They live in FL.).  Her husband told her that’s what to do.

Never, ever, thaw meat outside!!!

Uh, oh! You’re home and forgot to defrost something for dinner! Use the cold water method to fully or partially defrost frozen meats. This is faster than refrigerator thawing but requires a little more attention. The food must be in a leak-proof package or plastic bag because meat tissue can also absorb water like a sponge as it thaws, resulting in a watery product. Fill a nonreactive glass or ceramic bowl with cold tap water and submerge the package of meat, changing the water every 30 minutes so it continues to thaw. Small packages of meat or poultry (about 1 pound) may be partially thawed in about 15 minutes, or completely defrosted in an hour or less. A 3- to 4-pound package may take 2 to 3 hours. Once thawed, the food must be cooked immediately. Foods thawed by the cold water method should be cooked before refreezing. Never thaw meat in warm water as this will allow bacteria to grow on the warm outer surface.

Enuf said!

A digression from usual style, but I couldn’t resist linking to this funny blog.

, “he said.”  I love this book title.

Thanks to a thoughtful friend, I now own a copy of “Shut Up!” He Explained, by William Noble (Paul S. Erickson, Publisher, 1987).

The blogger goes on to illustrate all the groaners (I’ve used a few myself) that are substituted for “said.”

• “Oh, let’s go to bed,” growled Dan.

•  ”You might tell me all about it, Sara,” I insinuated.

• “You’ve got to give the spell time to work,” he expostulated.

You bought the stuff so I could make a batch of “calico beans“, which sounds good to me.  I bet you eat them too!

Hmmmm…..I don’t recall having Oreo cookies on the list, why did you buy those?

When you asked your friend Sheila if they wanted to join us for the concert and fireworks, she said, OK they would bring the KFC.  You said, OK we’ll bring the plates and drinks.

So why did I have to go to the grocery to buy two kinds of beans, brown sugar, watermelon PLUS the drinks?

OK, sometimes in addition to bickering, we crack each other up.  When she said that, I cracked up and said that was perfect.